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GO:Simple Future vs. Present.. by quantum-witch GO:Simple Future vs. Present.. by quantum-witch
TITLE: "Simple Future vs. Present Perfect"


FANDOM: Good Omens
WHO: Crowley, Aziraphale © Gaiman, Pratchett
NOTES: 1st prize for ~zelu for the #goodomens club "20th anniversary contest:

Prompt was "Crowley and Aziraphale at a bible
auction". Boy did I get carried away.

Okay...

Leviticus 18:22 = homos are evil (so they tell me, but they're idiots). But here's the thing - verses 1-20 are all about "no sexing with so and so", then all of a sudden 21 goes off on a weird tangent like the writer got totally distracted by something, then returns to say "no gay sexing" in verse 22, and then "no animal sexing" in 23... so what if the writer was embarrassed by his own lustful thoughts, both of boys and sheep? Yeah, I'm disgusting, live with it.

The bible verses were copied from real antique publications so I could reference the Middle English wording. Of course verse 22 is entirely my own.

Oh, and the numbers - 7 is "god's number" and 616 is actually the original "number of the beast", according to earliest translations.
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:iconaxeldemkakashi:
AxelDemKakashi Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Bibles are funny like this - apparently you can't wear clothes made of more than one fabric/material. Brilliant Strip - One question though: how would Crowley get it home if he can't touch it? maybe that would be a funny comic - crowley repeatedly trying to pick up a bible while totally hammered lol
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:iconquantum-witch:
quantum-witch Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
*lol* I suspect he carries those heavy rubber gloves with him, the ones he used to handle the holy water ;) But drunk off his ass would be quite amusing -- he'd have to get Aziraphale to apply topical burn cream to his hands afterward.
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:iconaxeldemkakashi:
AxelDemKakashi Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Lol true, i forgot about those gloves. i could imagine him drunk just going "ouch" *touch* "ouch" *touch* "ouch" *touch* like a moth to a light. Yeah Zira gets all the bad jobs lol but he secretly cares
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:iconartykawaii:
Artykawaii Featured By Owner May 6, 2011
Leviticus makes me lol

Because it says women must not cut their hair.....

which means I'm already going to hell.
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:iconpockypuck:
PockyPuck Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2010
*endless snickering* Yeah, but the Bentley's probably seen a lot more action than Aziraphale can give it by just driving. XD

That is too funny. I like your 'misprint'--wouldn't it be great if that was the real thing?
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:iconquantum-witch:
quantum-witch Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2010
except for having its gearbox stripped out *cringe*

i'm convinced it IS the real thing
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:iconpockypuck:
PockyPuck Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2010
Eeeeeeek. XD

Let us preach this! 8D ...Wait, that involves work. Let's not.
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:iconmegalisa830:
MegaLisa830 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ha, I had to research those verses to understand what your description meant, and to understand your joke, and added verse.. :XD: That's hilarious though! Plus, I love the Middle English as well, very poetic. :)

And I love their expressions, Crowley's smirk and Aziraphale's surprised look. :) And their outfits, auction numbers, and the coloring. And all the word bubbles and fonts.

And not that sex between these two is a bad thing (hardly so!), the joke twist was very funny! :) Had me laughing.
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:iconatemozzarella:
AteMozzarella Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010  Student General Artist
Oh dear, the bible is full of the misprints of crazy religious nuts over the years.

ahhhh well oAo Work of man, work of man.

Also, the Bentley. :3
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:iconquantum-witch:
quantum-witch Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010
all you have to consider is how many translations and editors it's had over the centuries... gods know if it's even the same book from the first copy... that was probably a cookbook or something
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